I mean get something other than sex!
Females are almost all seasoned veterans at this and it comes natural to them. The truth is: guys are suckers for a pretty face. I know women who can go to bars or clubs and not pay for a single drink just because they get a bit flirty with a guy. I'll admit, I've been one of those suckers who bought a girl a drink before. That said, I've also turned the tables and had women buy me drinks before.
This article isn't going to be to teach guys how to sucker some poor girl into paying for all of his drinks, nor is it about teaching guys how to be cheap and saying "Don't buy her anything." This is more just some tips to give you a bit of an advantage when you want/need something but have to ask for it. There are certain ways to get people to do things for you and it's important to know how to approach one of these situations properly and effectively.
As I often say, you need to know your strengths. I'm funny (not bragging, but I've been told and I get a lot of laughs), so I play to that. I make a lot of jokes, I'm goofy and act very relaxed and laid back. Obviously there are down-sides to every approach. The down-side to mine is that I can appear to be unserious or lazy. Another downfall to my approach is that not everyone has the same sense of humour (some have none); therefore, I've had to learn how to guage what jokes each person will think are funny within the first few seconds of talking to them.
The art of judging someone within just a few seconds of meeting them is called "thin-slicing." I'm not going into it now, but I have been doing some research on the topic and will be writing about it soon. If you want to read up on it, go ahead! I fully encourage it. It looks to be extremely relevant to flirting.
Because I mainly use humour to flirt, my tips are going to rely on someone being funny, but this is not set in stone. You can switch out my tactic for your own! The key is just to flirt and impress someone so they will pretty much get you what you want. That's the end result we're looking for.
So first off, we need to make an assessment. What's this person like? Make a snap judgement in your head before talking to them. Whoever said "don't judge a book by its cover" was wrong. We do it all the time and this is a beneficial time to use it. You may know the person already, but this step is still crucial. Are they easily impressed, do you know their likes and dislikes, how are they dressed, etc. These are all small clues that can hint at someone's personality. Another big one that people don't often think of is shoes. What type of shoes does this person have on? Depending on the shoe, it can tell you if someone is active, dresses nice, splurges on pricey items, etc. Take in as much information as you can and judge them on it. Now you'll need to make contact, but approach it in a way that you think will be positive based on the judgement you have made.
Open with a joke. Often times I will eavesdrop until I hear a good entrance cue and then go with it. This usually works well for me, but there are other approaches. Obviously if the person's alone, you'll need to just start a conversation out of nowhere. I did this just the other day. There was a lady next to me in line at a fast food restaurant. I was getting a breakfast sandwich and water. She was getting a rootbeer. I saw the rootbeer and it occurred to me that that's what I was using. I looked at the clock :10AM, looked back at her and said "A little early for pop, I think." This got a big smile out of her and started a conversation.
In the previous example, I went through the proper procedure. I took in information about her and the entire scenario. It was 10AM and she ordered a pop. I made the judgement. I was always taught that you should be eating a proper breakfast in the morning. Her pop seemed out of the ordinary, so I went for it. Another note I should make is that I opened with criticism. This can be dangerous; however, I approached it delicately. If this woman was 70lbs overweight, I may not have attacked her diet. She was, by the look of her, in very good shape and therefore, I felt that she could handle me lightly insulting her diet.
After you have been flirting with someone and it's going well, you'll sense when you could get them to do something for you. If you can't, I'll help you. It'll be the point in the conversation when you run out of things to say. At this point, you suggest the thing you need done. Don't ask for it, suggest it. "Crap, my drink is empty." "Well I guess I need to enter this into the computer. I'm not too sure how, though." You get the picture. By mentioning what needs to be done, but not asking for help, you're looking for them to offer help. This can depend on the person, but it should work out pretty well 70% of the time.
The other approach to getting what you need is asking them. The difference is, you ask them in a way that makes them feel important. "I need to figure out what to drink, but I don't know what's good here... Any suggestions?" "I'm not sure how to do this. You're really good at it, can you help me?"
The key to flirting to accomplish goals is to make the other person feel good. I make them laugh. Sometimes at there expense, but I know how to approach it. Keep in mind that that is dangerous ground so be careful. You want them to be happy. Happy people are going to be more likely to help you. Remember that when you're flirting, it's all about the other person.
Females are almost all seasoned veterans at this and it comes natural to them. The truth is: guys are suckers for a pretty face. I know women who can go to bars or clubs and not pay for a single drink just because they get a bit flirty with a guy. I'll admit, I've been one of those suckers who bought a girl a drink before. That said, I've also turned the tables and had women buy me drinks before.
This article isn't going to be to teach guys how to sucker some poor girl into paying for all of his drinks, nor is it about teaching guys how to be cheap and saying "Don't buy her anything." This is more just some tips to give you a bit of an advantage when you want/need something but have to ask for it. There are certain ways to get people to do things for you and it's important to know how to approach one of these situations properly and effectively.
As I often say, you need to know your strengths. I'm funny (not bragging, but I've been told and I get a lot of laughs), so I play to that. I make a lot of jokes, I'm goofy and act very relaxed and laid back. Obviously there are down-sides to every approach. The down-side to mine is that I can appear to be unserious or lazy. Another downfall to my approach is that not everyone has the same sense of humour (some have none); therefore, I've had to learn how to guage what jokes each person will think are funny within the first few seconds of talking to them.
The art of judging someone within just a few seconds of meeting them is called "thin-slicing." I'm not going into it now, but I have been doing some research on the topic and will be writing about it soon. If you want to read up on it, go ahead! I fully encourage it. It looks to be extremely relevant to flirting.
Because I mainly use humour to flirt, my tips are going to rely on someone being funny, but this is not set in stone. You can switch out my tactic for your own! The key is just to flirt and impress someone so they will pretty much get you what you want. That's the end result we're looking for.
So first off, we need to make an assessment. What's this person like? Make a snap judgement in your head before talking to them. Whoever said "don't judge a book by its cover" was wrong. We do it all the time and this is a beneficial time to use it. You may know the person already, but this step is still crucial. Are they easily impressed, do you know their likes and dislikes, how are they dressed, etc. These are all small clues that can hint at someone's personality. Another big one that people don't often think of is shoes. What type of shoes does this person have on? Depending on the shoe, it can tell you if someone is active, dresses nice, splurges on pricey items, etc. Take in as much information as you can and judge them on it. Now you'll need to make contact, but approach it in a way that you think will be positive based on the judgement you have made.
Open with a joke. Often times I will eavesdrop until I hear a good entrance cue and then go with it. This usually works well for me, but there are other approaches. Obviously if the person's alone, you'll need to just start a conversation out of nowhere. I did this just the other day. There was a lady next to me in line at a fast food restaurant. I was getting a breakfast sandwich and water. She was getting a rootbeer. I saw the rootbeer and it occurred to me that that's what I was using. I looked at the clock :10AM, looked back at her and said "A little early for pop, I think." This got a big smile out of her and started a conversation.
In the previous example, I went through the proper procedure. I took in information about her and the entire scenario. It was 10AM and she ordered a pop. I made the judgement. I was always taught that you should be eating a proper breakfast in the morning. Her pop seemed out of the ordinary, so I went for it. Another note I should make is that I opened with criticism. This can be dangerous; however, I approached it delicately. If this woman was 70lbs overweight, I may not have attacked her diet. She was, by the look of her, in very good shape and therefore, I felt that she could handle me lightly insulting her diet.
After you have been flirting with someone and it's going well, you'll sense when you could get them to do something for you. If you can't, I'll help you. It'll be the point in the conversation when you run out of things to say. At this point, you suggest the thing you need done. Don't ask for it, suggest it. "Crap, my drink is empty." "Well I guess I need to enter this into the computer. I'm not too sure how, though." You get the picture. By mentioning what needs to be done, but not asking for help, you're looking for them to offer help. This can depend on the person, but it should work out pretty well 70% of the time.
The other approach to getting what you need is asking them. The difference is, you ask them in a way that makes them feel important. "I need to figure out what to drink, but I don't know what's good here... Any suggestions?" "I'm not sure how to do this. You're really good at it, can you help me?"
The key to flirting to accomplish goals is to make the other person feel good. I make them laugh. Sometimes at there expense, but I know how to approach it. Keep in mind that that is dangerous ground so be careful. You want them to be happy. Happy people are going to be more likely to help you. Remember that when you're flirting, it's all about the other person.
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